About 6 months back I received a missed call from my ex on WhatsApp around 2 am his time. This call came at a time when I was still in that delusional phase where I thought he wanted to talk to me, so the next morning I called him back to chat. His response wasn’t to pick up the phone, but rather to text back saying that it was a mistake, that he had fallen asleep with WhatsApp open, he rolled on his phone, and his back gave me a missed call. Yes, his back. I’ve heard of butts making phone calls (only moms can pull off this excuse), but back calls are new to me and I wasn’t about to fall for this one. However, what I first thought was that he was drunk dialing me and the morning after he regretted it…but then the real reason he called hit me and that’s where I came up with a couple of WhatsApp Theories…
Now the title of this post is a bit misleading because I haven’t actually dated a Ghanaian. The reason behind this is because I was too put-off by their straightforward approach to asking a girl out. Heck, who I am kidding, Ghanaians don’t date, they propose marriage.
Let’s break down the two-step process as to why I will never be able to date a Ghanaian:
I’ve been working in Spain for 5+ years now, and though this has been the only experience I have of the corporate world, I am going to make a bold statement: acceptable behavior in a Spanish company is considered sexual harassment in 99% of the rest of the world.
Why? Here’s just a laundry list of things that have happened to me at work or at work events:
Life has a way of repeating itself. ראיתי.
Or rather, I have the tendency to make the same mistakes, especially when it comes to tall, dark and handsome. However, after two consecutive years of what I would like to call “Israeli October”, I’m going to banish them from my future dating portfolio like I have done with Argentinians. Could it be that Israelis are the Argentinians of the Northern Hemisphere? In short, yes.
Wallapop – an app to sell and buy used items
Dating – of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple. (Definition from UrbanDictionary.com)
In theory, these two items should not go together. I mean, if you’re looking to use an app to date, there are plenty of those out there, Wallapop not being one of them. However, when Tinder constantly tells you that you have “no one around you”, you’ve already invited all of your friends, including, but not limited to, your grandparents, dentist and your 12-year old cousin, and you’re starting to have nightmares of pulsating orange circles…
Living abroad for the past 5 years means that I’ve had a chance to get away from my comfort zone, especially language-wise. This has been great for my language skills when it comes to Spanish, but completely detrimental when it comes to speaking my native language, English. With most of my friends not being native English speakers, and about 50%+ of my day being in Spanish, I find myself saying things and picking up on expressions that no one would say in English, not to mention the moments when my brain goes completely blank and I am a stuttering mess. When it comes to relationships and dating, until I met the Brit, I hadn’t gone out with someone who was a native English speaker since my early college years, which I would not actually count as dating (a drunk dial at 2 am is not exactly what I would call dating). So meeting him I was a bit skeptical about how I would deal with dating in my own native language, but the truth is, I could get used to it, and that accent sure helps…
Over 3 months have passed since my last post, mainly because the days of serial dating have come to an end. Or at least this is what I’ve been telling myself for the past few months. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s been great fun to date like there’s no tomorrow, and I’ve gotten plenty of good stories out of it, but at the ripe age of 27, I need a bit of a break from the ADD dating scene. This post about how to date a Dane is from a date quite possibly over a year ago, but as I’ve learned, Barcelona fits in the palm of your hand and you will run into someone again, and again. Because of this I bring you my recently dug up recollection of going out with a Scandinavian.