It’s been a good 3 months since I’ve uninstalled all traces of dating apps from my phone so this post comes more as a #throwbackthursday (since I’m writing on a Sunday let’s rehashtag this to #sometimeagosunday) from a date that I had nearly one year ago. Why do I still remember the details of a night out nearly 1 year ago if I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast today? Well, the reason why is simply this: this date was repulsive.
As a self-proclaimed serial dater, if I can also proclaim another label for myself, it would also be serial traveler. According to my most recent calculations, I’ve been to 32 countries, 6 of those being due to a bit of Tinder Tourism.
Now if you’re not familiar with the popular Marie Claire article, in my own words I would define “Tinder Tourism” as the act of using Tinder to travel to a different city, country or continent to meet up with a Tinder match for a date.
If my parents were reading this right now they would’ve had a heart attack just imagining that I would be capable of risking my life to meet a stranger for the first time in a place where I know no one. Fortunately, my parents don’t know about this blog.
I remember as a pre-teen my best friend and I used to lock ourselves for hours in my Dad’s office and secretly go into AOL chatrooms for a bit of entertainment. Who remembers “a/s/l”? One time we weren’t so smart and even printed out a conversation we were having with a Tom Delonge (you know, from Blink 182) look-alike in San Diego. At the age of 12 we weren’t about to meet up with anyone, because these were still the days of BEWARE of ANYONE online. They can and will murder you.
I know on many occasions I’ve addressed my insensitive over generalization of cultures based on just one date with one person before by saying that it’s just for humor’s sake. But I still seem to get a bit of gripe for doing it, so this post is for those that don’t think that all guys from Seville will dance flamenco for you (though this one did), that not all Americans will watch football on the screen behind you while on a date (though he did) and not all Argentinians make awful boyfriends (even though these ones did).
To show that two people from the same country and culture can be completely different, I share with you my latest, A Tale of Two Americans.
About 6 months back I received a missed call from my ex on WhatsApp around 2 am his time. This call came at a time when I was still in that delusional phase where I thought he wanted to talk to me, so the next morning I called him back to chat. His response wasn’t to pick up the phone, but rather to text back saying that it was a mistake, that he had fallen asleep with WhatsApp open, he rolled on his phone, and his back gave me a missed call. Yes, his back. I’ve heard of butts making phone calls (only moms can pull off this excuse), but back calls are new to me and I wasn’t about to fall for this one. However, what I first thought was that he was drunk dialing me and the morning after he regretted it…but then the real reason he called hit me and that’s where I came up with a couple of WhatsApp Theories…
Now the title of this post is a bit misleading because I haven’t actually dated a Ghanaian. The reason behind this is because I was too put-off by their straightforward approach to asking a girl out. Heck, who I am kidding, Ghanaians don’t date, they propose marriage.
Let’s break down the two-step process as to why I will never be able to date a Ghanaian:
I’ve been working in Spain for 5+ years now, and though this has been the only experience I have of the corporate world, I am going to make a bold statement: acceptable behavior in a Spanish company is considered sexual harassment in 99% of the rest of the world.
Why? Here’s just a laundry list of things that have happened to me at work or at work events:
Life has a way of repeating itself. ראיתי.
Or rather, I have the tendency to make the same mistakes, especially when it comes to tall, dark and handsome. However, after two consecutive years of what I would like to call “Israeli October”, I’m going to banish them from my future dating portfolio like I have done with Argentinians. Could it be that Israelis are the Argentinians of the Northern Hemisphere? In short, yes.